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Q: What is better than winning a medal at the
Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes
if she knows what's good for her
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the
face with a frying pan.
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while
a guy is f*cking her.
Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fucking
listen.
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhoea
Q: Why did God create
yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.
Q.
How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
Q. What's the difference between a woman
and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
Q. What's the difference between
acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
Q.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker
can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't
get blow jobs while they're driving.
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise
doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad
Cow Disease was already taken.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing
off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out
your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q.
How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q. What's
the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q.
What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. Why don't they teach driver's
education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
Q.
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelery.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf
ball.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big
hand touches the little hand...
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A.
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe
sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
500,000 people have been killed in a Somalian earth quake.USA r sending clothes,
France are sending Food and Southall
are sending replacements!
Dere once was a girl named Ulrika, whos life
could not be sweeter she got battered by Stan,played by Sven and raped by
some guy from Bluepeter!
A man
gets on a bus wiv his mate,both have indian accents. He buys a ticket, but wen his mate cums to buy his,
he says "short
on da back and sides pleez".da bus conductor sayz "i beg ur pardon sir, this is a bus". so da guy goes "ok,
only a little
off da top", an da conductor says " but sir this iz a bus, so da guy sez "ok, take it all off!" next, the guys
mate comes
back and says "sorry about this, he only speaks Urdu!(hairdo)
Why cant a blonde dial 911?
Coz she cant
find 11!
An Irish man is walking in da desert. he is about 2 die and he finds a magic lamp. he rubs it and a genie
cumz out. "u can
have 3 wishes" says da genie. "i want a pint of beer" says irish. "alright" says genie. the irish drinks
it all and puts it
down and it magically refills itself. "what da fuk?" says irish. "thats magic beer. no matter how many
times u drink it, it
will auto-refill" says genie. "what do u want for your second and third wish?" the irish man thinks
a while and finally says:
"gimme 2 more of them!"
A man and his wife r walking in a desert. they r arguing
until they cum 2 a magic lamp. da genie cumz out and says "watever
the wife wishes for, her husband gets 1000 more." so
the wife thinks and says "for my first wish, i want to be very fit."
so she cumz fit and her husband comz x1000 more fitter.
they shag and she asks a second wish: "i want 2 have 1 million quid!"
she gets it and he gets x1000 more. then the last
wish: "i want a tenny, weeny heart attack"........... |
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